Online dating edition

You know, I have written number of very placid posts and have not felt very strongly about anything which is a great shame since I was getting such a great reputation as the bitching bitch so I thought , just maybe I could still...you know. Have a go?

This time we come down to the internet dating. I have now been single for 6.5 years (cheezuz frikkin christ and all his children...) although that depends on what one considers singlehood, I have dated a number of people for little while, like a week, two or 4, but furtherst I have got in this last few years has been 8 weeks and to me that can not really be counted as a real relationship. Not because it was not real, but because it never became anything more than a few dates and on few occasions, some awsome earth shattering sex.

Now I probably should not have said that, but then again I am human, I do on a very rare occasion have precicely that, even though one in a proper world is not supposed to talk about that unless you are hiding behind a really dodgy nick name and wrong photo in this amazing place called tinterweb. The thing for me is that I have a very large number of  people from Finland as well as UK reading this blog, including members of my family, but every now and then and ESPECIALLY after quitting smoking I need to let the steam out no matter what it is that comes out. So this is what you lot get this time and I will probably delete it within hours of being posted so if I was you, reading this, I would send me some silly comment, whatever it may be, just to see if you ca try and convince me not to delete it.

Anyhow, as you can imagine being single for a LONG time, one comes across a date or two that are downright bad or just unbelivable. I have had all that. Let me give you a few examples....

There is the bloke who has the most amazing pictures and looks like greek god, but you then meet, he is dressed like Neo in Matrix with the whole full length leather jacket but half his teeth are missing and his breath is like Dart Wader *I can also confirm no light sabers were on sight as I know you sci-fi puffs would like to ask...*. I can conclude that he was smart enough to keep his MOUTH SHUT on all the nice pictures but it is not really something you can hide face to face. Tip to blokes, nothing... I repeat nothing...puts a woman off as much as bad teeth. If really they are that bad, get sorted with some dentures , whatever. Just say no to rotting mouth, please? So how do you tell your date that is the reason why you cant ever bear to look at them. Do 'the Miia' and text your friend to call you with immidiate emergecy that requires you to leave immidiately. Yup.

Then another classic is the case of the ever so handsome lad with gloriously nice photos and profile and after a bit of a chat a date was arranged. Just turns out he is 5 foot 1. I am 5 foot 9...PLUS wearing heels. He in fact had not put his height on his profile so it kinda never came a matter of discussion, but yeah, we looked like mother and son out and I was tempted to ask if he wanted a hot chocolate but instead we got drunk, slagged off all our exes off and had a great time but never...ever got in touch again.

Now dont take me all wrong here, I have met some amazing people, have spent some amazing evenings with amazing guys but I just fail to find one that I fall for. The one who really shakes your booty. I have also had umpteen bad dates, and not that I cant get along with just about anybody until I can make a classy and not rude escape as I do have manners, but some men are just hard work, they turn up, dont say a word and every question you ask is answered by yes or no and THAT is it. SO yeah, all sorts out there. Just for the record us ladies do like a bit of a story and like to also be listened, but it does take two to tango for either.SO it is really hard to fall for anyone.

In fact even that is little bit in-accurate as I am sure I could fall in love with Jason Statham or Johnny Depp before meeting them face to face but let's be fair, no price looking LIKE THAT is gonna ever ask me out so I need to keep looking on the normal guy cathegory, even on the too skinny or too fat cathegory and since I am about to 40, the desperate for anything than my ex-wife catergory.

You know, the pickings are REA:LLY slim. There is a reason why a lot of people are single in the 40's. And for blokes it seems to be something in the following cathegories: lazy, ignorant, stupid...hence they have been dumped. This may be me being really catty and bitchy but seems that the good guys stay in relationships, and thats because they probably are great in bed, to be with, great parents and company in every single way.

But thats not all, then there are the real sleazybags, OMG...dont get me started. Just this week I have had 2 really sickeningly good looking guys get in contact and I am wondering why....turns out they are looking for a one night hook up, while the girlfriend or wife is busy. If that was my boyfriend or husband, I would kill him. Really would. And I can imagine by the look of these guys that their girlfrienda are gorgeous Jordan lookalikes so I do not understand why they need the extra sex with some overweight nearly 40 year olds? For shits and giggles? So if there is 2 a week, you can imagine how may I have come accross in 6.5 years. Yup. World is full of slezy men. I bet every other guy that is reading this text right now could cheat on their partner. That is sick. What is WRONG with you people, if you dont like your partner, move on and get single and shag whoever, whenever you want without hurting anyone. WHY is that too hard. If you really love someone and are happy with them, there is NO WAY IN HELL you would want to get it on with anyone else AT ALL. That is what it is like when you find a soulmate. I know because I had that once.

Then there is the ones who have put the picture from 1996 on in which they looked great and now, well they look more like a beachwhale and smell like dumpster.

It is safe to say that I have had 100 first dates in past 6 years. maybe 4-6 of those have made it to second date and only 3 of those have made it to third. If you imagine that I have chatted with each of those hundered for anything from week to 8 weeks before meeting, you can imagine how much time I have wasted. And got nowhere.

To be fair 50% of the blokes are nice, decent in some cases even I would say real catches, it is just that I am in some form unable to fall for any of them. My friends like to blame my past love, they may be right as he is one hell of a bloke to beat, but some of them, in fact lot of them by now think that I am just too picky and I want too much. And there is some who are just too good to be true. You know who you are...if you read this, and I have failed YOU in my ice queen heart.

And then there are those who come out limping with a broken heart and you know all you would be to them is a rebound. And that can be fine, for a very very short time, like one evening that you both either regret or not but never repeat.

My question is...when did it come too much to want to fall in love? Why is that a swear word to all the good looking guys and why, oh why can I not fall in love with someone and have that feeling returned? And why the hell should I settle for someone who is nice even if I did not fall for them?

My family and friends by now just want me to be with just about anyone so that the balance and belief in life and love could be restored forever, but...I refuse forever and ever until there is a guy that makes my belly feel the butterflies, my mind and body want to see him and to hear his voice, I want to find someone that I can NOT wait to get home to to speak to and to share my entire life with.

It seems this is too much to ask.

However, should you be eligible batchelor and want to get in touch, please feel free as this chick is just about ready to give up and settle for spinsterhood for good!
PS: Especially of you are Jason or Johnny...PMFSL
PPS: I am however VERY tired of this crap so do make an effort with that application...

RANT FRIKKIN OVER.

I could so have a cigarette right now.

And please do leave a comment, any comment...nobody has left me a comment in months and here I am spewing out all this crap and likely to delete this very soon so would be nice to hear...well anything. Dont know if anyone reads this anymore x

103 Days...and nights!!

Well, well, well. I have been a very good girl. I have not had a cigarette for nearly 3.5 months. I stopped going to the meetings too about a month ago as I didn’t feel it necessary.

I haven’t written much as I sort of ran out of steam bitching and moaning about stuff and been pretty steady, if not even some days happy person, which has made a change from the first 6 weeks to people who have to deal with me in daily basis for sure.

The cravings still come and for me probably because I still use my VAPORATOR-R-R regularly. It is only once or twice a day, but still. I am sure that it is mostly just habit now, I have changed the liquid in it for the weakest possible so there isn’t that much nicotine in it, and occasionally here and there I will chew nicotine gum if I feel the need. Perhaps if I didn’t do either the cravings would be almost non existent.

I have this time gone past the quitting Champix bit and have not started smoking again, I had the last Champix maybe 3-4 weeks ago and feel fine without them.

Maybe this time I can actually stick with it, we have gone further than ever before. I am also going to gym 3 times a week and sweating like a fat bird in lycra does to keep the weight in check. At the moment I weigh exactly the same as I did when I quit smoking, so that’s GOOD. I did do low carb diet for 6 weeks but in the last week that has totally blown and have been eating normal again, this may be bad mistake, but find it difficult to be strict about everything. So right now I will stay strict about saying no to cigarettes and go to gym 3 x week and eat what I want. Will see what happens. My ass feels tight like stone from all the cycling and cross training so I feel happy at that :D

I have now saved £670,00 not smoking. I have none of that in my pocket but I have had nice meals out, Lovely carnival in London, I have new wellies and court shoes and winter boots, dogs are vaccinated, bills are up to date, and I am going to Dublin in 2 weeks. Most of which I would not have or done if I had carried on smoking. So YAY!

SO yeah I just wanted to pop in, check in and tell you that YES… I am still a non-smoker one day at the time who is no fatter than before and I seem happy, a lot more than before.