3rd time lucky?

Well then my dear readers from all nooks and crannies of the globe. The BITCH is back.

I have been smoking like a small but very effective chimney for the past year and half. If I recall I didn't record in the blog the little incident that happened with The Evil Head Nurse of my local surgery which really drove me off the edge. I rang the queen of EVIL and asked for some help to continue on my journey to becoming a non smoker at that given time, after all in 8 months prior this devastating phone call, I had been a non-smoker for 6 months, which in my books is pretty good going for first EVER serious attempt.
Her exact words were ' Well you obviously didn't do a good job and you might as well smoke for another year since you didn't even put any effort in. I am not giving you anything until you rethink this whole thing and ring me back in a year'

I do believe I called her 'saatanan huora' which is not a very nice thing to call anybody, luckily it was Finnish so she did not have a clue, and put the phone down, ever so gently as you can imagine.

So after all this, I just thought fuck it. (and may I now at this point remind all the sensitive readers who can not handle profanities galore, to surf along now and find some pretty unicorns or something and nobody gets hurt. This is and will be my vent yet again and I will not censure anything that comes out of these fingertips)

SOOOO I have been thinking, and thinking, and thinking that I should quit again. Haven't been very motivated at all so seemed there was no point. I am still not very motivated but for some reason on Monday I decided it is time to make that appointment. I went to see my old group nurses today. I told them everything and what I wanted to do. They were very supportive, patted my back, asked me a billion questions, made me feel special by telling me I did so well last time and that I could do it again, just all those things that the EVIL bitch from hell should have said at the time and maybe I could now have been a non-smoker for 2 years.

Anyhow, better late than never.

So I have dropped off my letter to the doctors surgery to get my 1st two weeks supply of Champix again; I should get that magical packet into my hands sometime beginning of next week. Then I need to decide what day is it that I am officially going to become non-smoker again.

(damn, repeatedly typing non-smoker makes me want to have a cigarette, just a moment....)

Incredibly, I can't recall really enjoying a cigarette in the past year and a half, but since Monday this week when I decided to take the first tiny step towards non-smoking lifestyle, every single cigarette tastes magnificently delicious. Sods law.

I have just now decided my quit date. It will be 1.7.2012, this gives me 16 days to get my head into some form of shape for doing this and it gives me 16 long days to smoke to my hearts content, until I say goodbye to a lifelong friend and comforter.

Now what I need from you, yes you there in your little computer screen or mobile phone reading this, is support, may it be the genuine support, point and laugh at my pathetic post or just saying hello, I need YOU to be with me on this journey, so please people post a comment, any comment, however rude, pointless, supportive, stupid, irrelevant or obscene it may be, just comment, anything at all.

See I considered not writing a blog this time, and considered not telling anyone that I am even going to do this, but  I think, if I am to have any chance here of success at all, I need to publish and need to share, and should I fail again, it can be as epic of a fail as it was last time.
Cause that's the way I roll.

So little munchkins, do tune in, do comment and do laugh, cry and try to cope with the oncoming brain vomit written badly with a slight Finnish accent and plenty of profanity.

Let my pain be your amusement.

So mote it be.