Still alive, over and out!

 

I am a little calmer and happier than I was last time writing (phew). I must tell you though, that after the last rant, as you know I was having a really, really bad day. Woke up the next morning, went to work…as you do. Around 10am one of my colleagues asks who’s is that gold Audi? –Mine, WHY? I answer with sheer horror in my voice.

‘You have a flat tyre!’

I buried my head in my hands, burst into tears thru which I managed to scream I hate that fucking car! You should have seen his facial expression at that!!! I don’t know if it was the swearing or the tears that shocked him the most. Must have thought I am a complete basket case! As it happened there was lots of people milling around our desks at that precise moment in time and lots of baffled looks. It was just the final thing on top of everything that just broke me. As it happens, some kind lads from work got it all sorted for me and by the afternoon I had new tyre and it only cost me £44. Could have been much worse, that was with our company discount so saved a bit there. Had to laugh at someone’s comment ‘It’s only a flat tyre love, not a problem, we will get it sorted for you!’ God knows what kind of stories about me will be flying around the office, down the mobiles to all the engineers as well. The crazy Finnish woman was at it again! This is twice this year I have cried my eyes out in the office, both times after quitting smoking as well. Seems everyone else is perfectly normal and balanced human being. It is just me that seems to have emotions like a 5 year old! (I could try and blame the withdraw symptoms?)

As to my finances, they are still completely knackered, but the car has finally got it’s MOT sorted for another year. In the end I did find another seat belt for £40 so the total damage remained under £300 for it all. Still plenty, but not quite in the £500 mark.

As for smoking, it is now day 34 without a single puff of the evil cigarette. Yay me!

As for boyfriend, haven’t got one anymore, so singleton again. Hope he finds his happiness in London. Me, well I should be used to being single anyway since been that way for almost 4 years anyhow, so came to terms with my luck with men over the weekend.  Might as well stay single now for another few years, have had enough drama for a while. I think I will invest in a black cat instead.

However, should Shane Ward, Johnny Depp, Jason Statham, Orlando Bloom, Ewan McGregor, Jensen Ackles, Gerard Butler, Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel or Antonio Banderas knock on my door, I would have to reconsider!

I have to say, the dreams are still awesome, Champix is keeping me dreaming with some of the above starring in them I might add to my delight!. Yesterday I stayed in bed till 5pm so had plenty of dreams. When finally managed to get myself up I only stayed awake for 6 hours and then back to bed. And had no trouble falling asleep!

I think I was just emotionally and physically completely drained.

Today, I feel almost like a normal person again. It was good to have a duvet day and clear my head a bit!

On and towards new tobacco free adventures!