Final Frontier

I did fail totally yet again. I have been smoking for the past month. Maybe not as much as before but about 10 a day. And that's as bad as 20 a day.

I went to gym today after a break of 1.5 weeks of that due to just been too busy and I almost died. The difference is amazing, my chest is tight, I struggle for enough oxygen and feel really out of shape. I have also had a cold looming making me feel tired and ratty.

I have decided that I will try quit again, one last time. If I fail then i might as well stay a smoker. It is too hard to keep doing this to myself.

So I tucked my tail between my legs and went back to to see the non smoking advisors looking very sheepish. I explained to them how annoyed I was, how easy it was just to slip back after that one smoke. now if i was them i would have shaken my head and tutted a lot with my arms crossed on my chest, but they didn't. One of the ladies said 'well you don't seem like a happy smoker and thats why you are back' and that I should try again. One last time.

So back on Champix *sigh* and this time adamant that I will not have any nicotine aids on the side, as maybe that has been my downfall. We will see how it goes. I am getting to the point where I dont really have much umph left for anything but i will give it one mo9re damn good go and then thats bloody well it.