5 Hours. Take 2

Slightly schitsophrenic start. I woke up and realised I had not said proper goodbye to my last cigarette last night. So of course I had to have one more last cigarette. So did that with a cup of coffee.

As you can see this time I am not motivated at all. My thoughts circled around looking for reasons why I am actually attempting this.

Anyhow, seems currently we have two entirely different persons residing in my brain. These two take 30 second turns talking to me.

The first person, let's call her Miiuli starts of with ' You know you enjoy smoking, why put yourself out by suffering and not having one, this wont prove anything, apart from the fact that you love smoking. Stop pretending, we both know I am right, come with me, let's go and have a puff! You should never quit something you like doing anyway!'

Then the second cow comes online and we can call her say Miiuska ' It bloody stinks, it is unattractive, expensive and it is soooo bad for you, this quitting thing is piece of cake, no problems at all, like a walk in the sunshine thru a beautiful park with blooming flowers'

For a moment there is silence and then Miiuli goes off on one again. And then Miiuska.... Inbetween I see flying ciragettes with horns pointing and laughing at me.

This is really not a good start.

This in fact is biggest pile of shisen I can think of for a humanbeing to be doing on a perfect sunny saturday. I am fooking insane.
And it has only been 5 hours.
It will be one VERY long weekend this.