The REAL Day 1

Thanks for the comments on previous posts! Keep them coming, they keep me writing! As one anonymous said maybe it is the other issues that are going on in life that are the problem. Had a little think and came to the conclusion that the only other problem I really have right this moment in time is that I am reluctant to quit because I enjoy it and that I am not properly motivated. Everything else in my life is fine really, sort of. I think? I did fail my last attempt after 10 weeks of not smoking due to the funeral of my gran, but really I can't use that as an excuse for my failing now.



So I decided to grab the bull by the horns yesterday, I smoked a few cigarettes and then gathered all remaining cigs and took them to work with me. I promptly gave them all to a colleague who is one of the few remaining smokers in our office. She was pleased anyway. I felt that I now have some resolve to do this. I told her not to give me one under any circumstances, no matter if I am begging on my hands and knees or screaming my head off.


I haven’t had one since and that was lunchtime yesterday. So now today it is the real day 1 for quitting.


It is funny when I started work for this company 2 years ago there was 8 smokers. Now there is only 3. This of course is a great sign and gives me some hope that I can succeed, after all…others have managed.


What I have learned as well is that once I get this thing as well under the belt as last time, past that 8 week mark, that is when you got to get careful. You can’t have even one cig or you will just go back to it.


Other thing to motivate me again is that I found out yesterday that I will have to have another surgery this year. It will be Septoplasty for my nose to help me breathe better. When one is a smoker, the risk of complications in anastasia are far greater. So it would be better for me to be done with it by then. Apparently this surgery will take place sometime before Christmas. Strange, went to see doctor at spring time for 2 problems, and they both ended up needing surgery. Two in one year, when I had managed 36 years without none! Madness.


Just for the moment I don’t feel too bad, no need to beat the wall with my fists or attack people. But there is time yet!!! If I remember correctly the first day wasn’t the worst, it was around day 2 that I came sick and day 3 and 4 when nearly caved in last time.


So I know the worst is yet to come. Bring it on you bastard!! My inner warrior has woken up and is ready to PARRRRTY!


I just did a FeewayCER Meridian Energy Therapy session and that has totally now turned me around to thinking I can do this. Should have got around to doing that at the weekend really but I was busy!


I am noting though that I am biting my nails. So I may not have any nails left in the end of the week, which is a great shame as I have really long nice nails just now. Hmph.


And the inhaler is getting it some. I might have finely defined cheekbones soon, the thing is you really have to put some effort into sucking it to get anything out of it! And then when you do get some nicotine out of it, man does it taste bad. Yak!

I wonder when the sweats and shakes start again??? Yiihaa!

Also my chrystal ball tells me the wine consumption will be increasing over the coming days. The local AA club wondered why their walls were shuddering :D