Depressing!

If yesterday I was Miss Angry, today it is Miss Totally Depressed. I have also discovered that on the first quit attempt Day 2 sickness had nothing to do with the chicken salad that got thrown away. It seems my body likes to make me feel nauseous for depriving it from it's precious poisons.

There has been an awful lot of fake cheerful voice on the phone at work and lot's of staring into space with face like carved from stone.I have felt like I have been living today under water. Everything seems 'muffed' the brain does not seem to register a lot of things. Like people talking to me. In fact I have no idea really who has spoken to me and what they have said. 

The strange thing is I should be really in a good mood, I am off to Finland on Friday and I have had some quite exiting news about a top secret project that I can not yet talk about, but that could be the coolest and most exiting thing to happen to me in years if things went the way I plan them to go. 

And yet I am moping about like Emo teenager with mascara running down my face and sitting here with my favourite rock t-shirt on.

I even did a little retail therapy after work and got me a new winter coat. Even that did nothing to lift my spirits.

I am watching some comedy on telly whilst writing this, and all it is doing is winding me up.

So I decided to call my shrink and this is what I got:

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

So I hung up and decided to make that my new answerphone message. Something for the telemarketers to listen to. Since let's be honest, that is the only people that call my landline. And they do need some help!

You remember when there used to be cigarette advertising? Like lot of the sports were full of them. Ironic don't you think? I mean at the time it seemed normal but now?

Without advertising tho I have heard it thru the grapewine that the Marlboro clothing is very functional. The denim jacket has electric heart paddles sewed right into the lining, and there’s a backpack that can hold a portable respirator. That could come in handy! LOL.

Now that were rolling, how about the absolutely fantastic comment made by Brooke Shields '"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." 

Sorry, I am in fact so depressed I have to think of some smoking jokes to try and cheer me up...what ever works eh?

This one is a cracker:

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: "What's that?"

Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."

Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"

Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."

The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."

On that note I am going to crawl into my tomb, pull the tombstone over my head and have a slumber.And yes, I am aware it is only 21:15, what is your point exactly? This quitting smoking business is very tiring!