Today one of my customers said; ‘Oh you sound like you need a cigarette’ That was it, I nearly burst into tears there and then. In fact I would have done if there was any liquid left in my body, but seems I am sweating it all out.
That is not the worst of it though, my sense of smell is improving and this sweating menopausal thing I have going on just now, well it is like mans underwear after heavy exercise left into sports bag to fester for few weeks, after which it has been rolled in some cigarette ash and some dog shit and a drop of cat piss been thrown in for a good measure- kind of smell. I fully understand that it is all that disgusting poison coming out of my pores that I have been putting into it for last 22 years. But did it have to happen on a day when the temperature is hitting +27C? I mean honestly! And although I knew this was going to happen, was I smart enough to slip a deodorant into my handbag? NO!
So what could I do? Just sit very quietly in the office, reduce arm movements to minimum and smile apologetically at regular intervals.
Heh, I wonder if that smell will improve when I go for my attempt of running again tonight?
Meanwhile my skin is wondering what the hell is going on and protesting very loudly by placing a gigantic zit in the middle of my forehead, and just to make sure it gets noticed, the damn thing won’t burst even if I hit it with a hammer and chisel.
I have now added nicorette gum to my arsenal. Yesterday after writing my blog, a friend called and I literally screamed at her ‘I NEEEEEEED CIGARETTE OR I WILL KILL SMALL INNOCENT CHILDREN’. She was surprisingly understanding, told me to hold on for 20 minutes and shut up.
Moments later she stormed in from the door and ran to me and shoved nicorette gum down my throat. And then patted my head and said ‘there there’. After that she took me to the garden, lit up a cigarette and kept blowing the smoke my way as I whimpered like a homeless puppy. It got even funnier when I kept saying to her ‘Blow me, blow more’ and suddenly neighbor peeked over the fence grinning like a village idiot (typical man…pah!)
According to my non-smoker group leader, I am not supposed to have Champix and nicorette. Apparently it is defeating the object. I disagree, smoking a cig is defeating the object ‘Miss I will help you stop smoking although I have never smoked myself’. So There!
On Wednesday when we have our meeting I will be putting her to the right. Almost (but only almost) feel sorry for her as this week she will have 6 people there who have all quit in the past 7 days, it could play out like a murder mystery evening :D
On a positive note, Man my taste buds are alive, I have never enjoyed a boring sandwich as much as I did today, it was like a gourmet meal on silver platter served by tanned gorgeous Diet Coke man! I am now considering having to go to all my favorite restaurants to try all my favorite foods again, they will be even better! Anybody care to join me on a restaurant eating spree??
SO today has been as hard as yesterday and I have been advised by other quitters that tomorrow will either make it or break it.
So to avoid failing tonight, I have promised myself that after my pathetic attempt of running I will go and buy a bottle of wine and drink it fast. My body needs some poison so alcohol will be it!
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