Day 4 *Sigh*

The name of the blog shoud really be smoking Miia.

I just think it  would be more apt. I am just a SUCKER!

When I quit Saturday I had 6 cigarettes left. That was a mistake, I should have thrown them in the bin for sure. Monday, Tuesday and today I have had to have 1 of them after work. There has been nothing I could have done to stop myself apart from not having them in the house in the first place. So there was still 3 left, I have now thrown them in the bin an hour ago. Better late than never I suppose.

I think due to the above I have made this much harder for myself. I have struggled everyday, all day. work has been hellishly busy and today was the first time I was heard shouting the f-word very loudly (even scared myself to be honest!)

I am now sat here hugging a very cold bottle of wine in my shaking sweaty hands. Yep you guessed it, the sweats are back. I would imagine the room temperature is +19-20C right now which is perfectly normal and I am sweating like I was in Peruvian jungle climbing a very steep mountain with a mountain goat with a silly beard strapped to my back.

I feel very uncomfortable but at this point there is no point for a shower as it would be rendered pointless 10 minutes after it. So I will sit here until it damn well stops and then have a shower.

I am wondering if I should take a suitcase of clothes to work tomorrow and do the 8 hour show with hourly costume changes? That would confuse people!

Also I am feeling like the most anti-social person in the world. I spent the whole weekend alone and have been alone every evening this week. On one hand this has been planned as every single friend I have smokes and it is probably good I have tried to stay away from temptation this first week so I haven't contacted anyone to do anything. But now I feel extra down and like Billy-No-Mates.

Mind you, right now I am cranky, smelly and depressed so who the heck would want to keep me company anyhow? Even the dogs are keeping their distance this evening!

Jheezuz I can moan, most of this really is the quitting smoking, I really am not this negative and depressed all the time, I swear!!!

Thats it, I am going away, back into my little box since I have nothing whatsoever positive to say.

Cigarettes: 1
Wine: glass No 2 on the go right now
Music: None
Dates: Don't even go there!
Food: Lots of mini Chuba Chubbs lollypops and other junk
Excersise: Naah, De Nada.
*Sigh*